there are times when it is important to know exactly who you are working with. to know exactly who the people you will be working against and competing with to get a job. i saw something very disturbing in class tonight. we watched a video. but it was no mere normal video. it was a bad video. it was horrible. one goal we had was to look at the video and find some skills in it. i sat for the session, which was a fifteen minute hour (funny industry term for a usualy hour therapy session that last 1/4 of the time). as the man who made it defended that it was only 15 minutes long (in a rather snotty way) i sat there thinking about about what i saw.

now i am not one to be a snot. i am not one to be completely self absorbed and self centered. but after watching the video he mad....i am suddenly feeling very secure in my future search for a job!!!

unless at some point in time they get rid of interviews and instead make us fight it out in thunderdome. even then....i'll still prob win.

in some lame attempt to figure out exactly what i want to get from my life, i have decided that each night that i am at home before i go to bed i need to write. i need to get back into the position that i was in when i used to write all the time. to much time has passed since i have written about the feelings inside of me, and due to this i think that there are some situations that have become completely muddled and wound up in a complete state of disaray. now before i got off soundling like my life is akin to a nuculear bomb blast. i would like to note that my inane ramblings are in a sense a way for me to gather up my thoughts into complete ideas and formulations. sounds confusing right? well it is!

in essence, it helps me to be able to go back and look at things and see what i was thinking about a situation at a given day.

what i do with what i learn is completely unhelpful and i usually end up second guessing myself. but it is somehting that has worked for me for a long time and i wil continue to do it till it leads me astray.

either way i am going to start writting again, any chance i get. and hopefully this information will lead me to make a decision about my future. i hope that is does work out this way